Into the Wilderness
I found myself occupying time by distracting myself. Picking up a bottle of wine for that party. Last minute shopping & baking those treats now while there was time. All while enjoying music of the season. And yet if I were honest with myself, it was so I wouldn't have another moment of going before Him; without answers, without words to say, and another round of questions that seemed to repeat every other day.
Hours passed and I finally sat to spend some time with Him; and was distracted yet again by the social media feeds of what inspired me. Then I came across a word and was wrecked! "Lord forgive me!" Feeling like I was somehow navigating myself through the cold of Narnia, yet stuck in the wilderness wondering. More days than not have been filled with hopeful joy of what's to come, so I can only attribute that to His grace. And yet there's still those ice cold moments still, where I am overwhelmed by doubts & questions of the wilderness. .
"Are you working?!?" I usually would plead before God. But tonight was different. "I'm so sorry!!!" I let out with tears streaming.
He was waiting through my night. My distractions. My 'things to do' & yet He patiently waited to meet with me. It wasn't until the sobs stopped between tears streaming I could feel His peace again.
He is working.
He is moving in this place.
His plans are good.
He has promised a hope & a future.
He's setting the stage to show up & show off!
I just knew I had to press in; He simply wanted my time. It was as if He was on the couch waiting for me to acknowledge him; & I was ignoring Him prompting my heart the entire night. Once I sat before Him, I heard him speak out; it was there where he met me and I heard him speak: "You weren’t abandoned in this place to be forgotten — you were placed in this place to be found. And what may feel like being thrown away — is about being placed because a way is coming always...."
Praise Jesus He is always drawing near. And we can rest knowing His healing, breaking free ways are always coming for us. Wildernesses can be where God woos!!