Here's the reality: There are days that seem beautiful & bright, and everything feels right! Then there are the other days. Those days you just don't know. You get through it because you have to. You put on your best face (makeup & all, because you know it could be scary not to 😜) and you show up!
This was one of those days.
I had spent a good part of it fighting for the self-worth of a friend who was believing lies about her existence. Encouraging her in the midst of some deep pain & feelings of loss, offering what I knew to be true of His promises to never leave or forsake, that God sees her, that he knows every broken place, that he wants to heal and redeem even the places we don't know we're broken in....
But fast forward & then it hit me: the depth of questions & emotions. Struggling as an artist wondering if anyone really understands my call. Curious if I was pursuing the wrong "call" or direction after all these years. Even doubting every gift, talent, & passion I've poured my life into for years. "Was this a complete joke? Is what I'm called to even possible?!" I found myself asking. With tear stained cheeks the only thing I knew to do was offer my pleas for rescue to Him. All the same while, I KNOW God is faithful to redeem all things-- While I knew this was a direct assault from the enemy, I just couldn't shake it! So I pressed forward, understanding the David as he cried out in the Psalms "where are you God, do you not see me?" But chose to seek HIM regardless. Choosing to believe his word over my current state. His plans are far greater than we can understand, & while we cannot fathom what could be reconciled from the mess we feel we're in; if we knew or saw what he had prepared our "well, let's just get through today" would turn into a peaceful willingness to "get through today" and our sighs wouldn't be filled with such desperation, but with letting our soul calm down.
Not everyday is going to be shiny happy people but it's totally ok to be where you are (questions doubts & all). To trust Jesus with the details of the chaos, & then just be is perhaps the best place of peace knowing He's got even this!!