They Call Me Blondie

As i listened to him speak, an all too familiar thought crossed my mind.   “This doesnt apply to you girl...He’s talking to people that  don’t have the struggles that you do.  You’ve already had your chance and you missed it, so somehow you have to learn to survive and carry on.  This is the lot you got in life”  Hmmm. thats odd. I knew I’ve heard that voice before, but for some reason this time it didn’t seem very convincing. I mean it did, but right in the middle of church?   I found myself wanting to believe what the guy on the platform was sharing.  And yet my own thought life was trying to disagree?   Could it be, my own thoughts are not really my own?  What if what I’ve heard is really true - That the enemy of our soul will do everything to convince us of what we’re not, so we are too embarrassed to come any closer to freedom? Ya know; things along lines of Not being good enough to ____ or Not strong enough to resist ____....

It was a week of unbelievable crazy ups and downs.   I heard the exciting news of something I once proposed to be a divinely inspired idea and the not so exciting announcement to me was that it was finally coming to fruition based off someone else's hand - and they took credit. Backhanded high five.  Awesome feeling. A car accident not based off my lack of attention, but it simply was black ice I could not get my car to stop.  A deductible later. Whats another $500 right? The announcement of their wedding. Its clear he moved on. But why would it be on the date of her birthday?   He still isnt allowed home to see his family and has had such a good long stride of behavior.  His wife is devastated.  How to be a good friend in the midst of other struggles, job issues, things I couldnt control, and not to mention sleep I hadn't gotten... I had no idea!  While the devil may have thought he was winning certain battles, and at times during this week ...