They Call Me Blondie

I find myself driving and oops there i go... headspin... I'm suddenly back to where I was, oh, 2yrs ago. 6mos ago. 8 DAYS ago. Again. Except this time its with a NEW view and a DIFFerent tune. Waiting. Awesome. Isnt it? I find myself asking "Lord, did i hear you the first time?"or in a bewildered state;  I hesitate.  And meditate  to formulate the words—  and then....   release. ahhhh.  ....and I, I cannot bring more to the tip of my tongue to rattle off some religious prayer  or words like its what You wanna hear  and i s..s..stutter through because i feel like I have no words left to utter a glimpse into the wreckage and turmoil I'm in.. I have. no. words.  God. I need a revelation!  I just really want to know if your near me;  Lord Do you hear me?! And so I'm stuck.  I keep driving. and thinking.  and processing.  Lingering....  My heart is overwhelmed a...

I’ve noticed I’ve been lacking inspiration.  Perhaps even feeling. Maybe, I’m actually numb.  Is it possible to be numb and actually know that you’re numb?  Or is that just something someone else notices when you don’t cry at a Hallmark commercial or when American Idol is chosen and it’s the one who’s overcome the most and triumphed over their upbringing in the hood?  Perhaps it’s a little of both. Its not like I don’t cry. I have my moments when I listen to the radio and hear an overwhelming story about how the Lord saved a teacher and her students from the tornados of OK that just demolished an entire school! – She leaped across her students yelling “we’re gonna be fine, Lord protect us! ” as the kids were screaming in terror and one little guy yells to his teacher “I love you! Please don’t die, I love you! ” – Um, how can you NOT tear up at that story???   But perhaps it’s a bit deeper. Perhaps it’s a bit more personal. Perhaps it’s my guard? ...