They Call Me Blondie

Falling into bed after a long day, as I buried my face in my pillows my thoughts race ahead of me: "Oh to be leaping into bed for excitement of the days to come!"   How I longed for a new night like this.  What seemed to be on repeat the last handful of days, who am I kidding, WEEKS; was the exhaustion of striving and not knowing what to do. Most days are't too difficult to get through.  Grab my coffee, jump in the car and off to the studio to teach some classes with the music up and sun shining!  A dozen thoughts race through my head as I drive to work: "What's on my list to get at Trader Joe's again?"  "Was today or was tomorrow Tiffany's birthday? Or was YESTERDAY Tiff's Birthday?!?  Oh shoooot.... better text her at the next light."  "Hmmm, I wonder who's going to be in my first class?"  "Did my sister get my call from yesterday?"  "Ooooh, I wonder If I have time to go to Starbucks between classes!...

The frost settled on the ground from the night before, the sun was already up and the traffic was starting to build for the final workday of the week.  With the engine barely running long enough to put the car into motion, I was off to work with a thermos of hot tea as the only thing warm in my car... My commute to work took only that of 15-20minutes; so just barely long enough to get that heat crankin, center my thoughts, and spend a few quiet moments in them before I would get to the studio and have to burst into energy to help everyone have a fantastic day.  (for the sake of the story, where I was employed doesn't matter - You can think it was an art studio, a studio for dance or even a boutique of clothing with your imagination;)   The important details are outside of the actual place of work. I had been on this journey for the past few years.  I knew what I was called to and still pursuing that, but I had to pay bills and put food on my table, so I did what an...

How many of you remember looking up to your Father, uncle, even big brother as if they were on the same level as spiderman, the Incredible Hulk or just plain superhero status? Of course they were human and had their moments of outbursts, or human breakdowns; but as a child I remember thinking my dad was the absolute bestest and greatest Firefighter of them all. He climbed mountains, and scaled rocks. He knew how to start a fire from twigs and rocks together which to me seemed magical. He always was up for an adventure or going out to do 'fun' things. Bike riding, body surfing, exploring; you name it! He even knew how to pick the prettiest of wildflowers to make bouquets for our mom, so he was charming too.   Growing up in a home where Dad had to save the world from bad guys or fires that were threatening buildings with trapped grandmothers in them; it seemed normal to me to have a father gone every other day.  He was a firefighter by trade so they worked shifts of 24hours...

Totally freaked out.   I stand at the edge of what seems like a never ending drop.  In the fog and the haze, I look out past the horizon and hear whispers of something I recognize.   "Brave"  the wind whistles... its cold now, and although bundled in a sweater and warmth, the wind whips through and over the grasses with a chilling bite.  From atop the mountain it seems so far down... as you think of the long way it is to the bottom, which would certainly mean the death of you, the thoughts start to crawl in... Dont forget while you're here, they're there planning without you. . .  What are you doing with your life? . . .You stink at being a parent, a thrown together lunch because you forgot to get to the store  . . .   After so much strategy and efforts planning, what if the merger is a flop? . . . How will we ever have a child?  Where is the money going to come from?  . . .  Mise well be who they want you to be - its easier ...