They Call Me Blondie

As i listened to him speak, an all too familiar thought crossed my mind.   “This doesnt apply to you girl...He’s talking to people that  don’t have the struggles that you do.  You’ve already had your chance and you missed it, so somehow you have to learn to survive and carry on.  This is the lot you got in life”  Hmmm. thats odd. I knew I’ve heard that voice before, but for some reason this time it didn’t seem very convincing. I mean it did, but right in the middle of church?   I found myself wanting to believe what the guy on the platform was sharing.  And yet my own thought life was trying to disagree?   Could it be, my own thoughts are not really my own?  What if what I’ve heard is really true - That the enemy of our soul will do everything to convince us of what we’re not, so we are too embarrassed to come any closer to freedom? Ya know; things along lines of Not being good enough to ____ or Not strong enough to resist ____....

Absolutely loved stumbling across a response to Qideas question : Constraint and Consent, Career and Motherhood and I found myself resonating with things the writer blogged about, but also thinking while reading " What the heck? But Im NOT in my twenties any longer and Im still there! Its not like Im 24 trying to find a purpose and a place in life, God!"  Im into my 30s and thankfully I know things that stirr passion and things that keep me dreaming or awake at night, but for me, now its more of the struggle with the sheer abundance of possibilites to do with life. The challenge as Kate quotes Kathleen Norris  "...the human paradox is that we find these things by starting where we are, not where we wish we were." In an effort to seek out my calling, as I wait to begin a family, I too often time find myself going in circles with the questions of which direction to turn my journey towards and how do I do that while walking in His plan and will, but also not...

So we just finished an excellent topical teaching on "greater than". . . The typical sermon that one would expect to hear on Easter Sunday didnt have a chance with what we experienced today. And Im still having a difficult time articulating it. You see, a few weeks ago, we were introduced to the idea of "greater than"  My God is greater than... and then one would finish the statement. "My God is greater than...         ...my struggling marriage"         ...my addiction to alcohol"         ...my obsession with anxiety and gossip         ...my parkinsons         ...my sister's abusive husband         ...my fear of pregnancy going bad         ...my eating disorder         ...our fight for our kids         ...our athiest and god-condeming work environment" ...a...