They Call Me Blondie

Totally freaked out.   I stand at the edge of what seems like a never ending drop.  In the fog and the haze, I look out past the horizon and hear whispers of something I recognize.   "Brave"  the wind whistles... its cold now, and although bundled in a sweater and warmth, the wind whips through and over the grasses with a chilling bite.  From atop the mountain it seems so far down... as you think of the long way it is to the bottom, which would certainly mean the death of you, the thoughts start to crawl in... Dont forget while you're here, they're there planning without you. . .  What are you doing with your life? . . .You stink at being a parent, a thrown together lunch because you forgot to get to the store  . . .   After so much strategy and efforts planning, what if the merger is a flop? . . . How will we ever have a child?  Where is the money going to come from?  . . .  Mise well be who they want you to be - its easier ...

It was a week of unbelievable crazy ups and downs.   I heard the exciting news of something I once proposed to be a divinely inspired idea and the not so exciting announcement to me was that it was finally coming to fruition based off someone else's hand - and they took credit. Backhanded high five.  Awesome feeling. A car accident not based off my lack of attention, but it simply was black ice I could not get my car to stop.  A deductible later. Whats another $500 right? The announcement of their wedding. Its clear he moved on. But why would it be on the date of her birthday?   He still isnt allowed home to see his family and has had such a good long stride of behavior.  His wife is devastated.  How to be a good friend in the midst of other struggles, job issues, things I couldnt control, and not to mention sleep I hadn't gotten... I had no idea!  While the devil may have thought he was winning certain battles, and at times during this week ...

"Write till your fingers bleed tell stories till your voice runs out  because it was WHAT YOU WERE MADE TO DO! Mother or not Woman or not Because it fills you- Because you love it- Because it helps people- Because you're YOU when you do it- Everyone of us has been created ON purpose FOR a purpose! . . . You've been called to do something to shape this world we live in! You've been called and created by a holy God and this world needs you! It's about SO much more than gender! You might want to give up your calling because you're scared out of your mind, or because people might think you're crazy?!  Because you don't think you'll live up to your parents legacy...   What are we gonna do?!? If we left the world-changing,                          the storytelling,                              ...

You have been And You will be You have seen And You will see You know when I rise and when I fall When I come or go, You see it all You hung the stars and You move the sea, And still You know me And nothing is hidden from Your sight Wherever I go, You find me And You know every detail of my life And You are God and You don't miss a thing Whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, You know me.... You memorize me <--- listen while you read;) Ever have one of those days you seem to question everything? Today was one of those days. " What am I doing? Why did I leave that gig? I know it wasnt what I was called to, but it would have been better than this or where Im at currently..." Actually, funny enough though, it started out as one of those "I'm going to conquer the world" days as there were brilliant options before me, I was looking into. Ha. Having a little fun looking up some ideas on the web, letting your mind spin and creatively ...